She never believed in death.
It was one of the most eerie things in the world that a five year old didn't believe in death. It was also the common denominator for both of us. I remember it was after her Grandpa Anthony's funeral. She became inconsolable. No one was as close to Grandpa Anthony like little Maura.
Then one day she came back from school one day , smiling. This was stunning because she hadn't smiled for days but that afternoon she was smiling. The kind of smile one has when something has been revealed to them, it looked awkward in a cute way when it was on a five year old girl.
"Granthony isn't death, no one can death"
That was the beginning of it and the end of something. After that at every funeral, every memorial service that Maura went to she didn't cry, she didn't feel bad or sorrowful, not at all. After that revelation that "no one can 'death' ", Maura seemed impervious to death and its effects.
Little Maura would go on with her life acting like Granthony was still alive. At the age when her friends were dropping their imaginary friends Maura was creating hers. There were two problems with this,the first one was quite obvious, her friends were leaving her behind. The other problem was that Maura's imaginary friend wasn't imaginary at all, it was a real person, a dead person.She would keep Granthony alive , she would listen to him read her bedtime stories, she would play Frisbee with him, she would fall asleep on his laps. As she grew older some of these activities were harder to pretend but she kept at it .
As expected, Her parents started to become concerned. Maura had entered a state of denial and everyday she was becoming even more delusional as the days started to roll by.She had successfully created a world where Granthony wasn't dead and where he and she coexisted forever.A world of death where death was impossible. A world that would soon collide with ours.
"She'll get over it'
"No she won't, not unless she gets help!, How could you take this so lightly !I don't know about you but i am not going to sit back and watch my five year old daughter grow into a fifty year old delusional woman!"
With that Mrs. Hyatt stormed back downstairs to the dining table. I had come over to the Hyatts to sleep over with Maura like always do at the end of every month. When Mr. Hyatt came down the food lost any taste it had. When Mr. Hyatt broke the silence with "OK then what will you have me do" he said with a huge feel of being fed up in his voice.
"Tell her for the hundredth time that Granthony is dead? tell her for the hundredth time that hes not coming back?, tell her for the hundredth time how he died?, take her to the graveyard to see him? Do you have any idea how painful uttering those words and doing those things are for me?I don't think you do! Granthony was my father! If anyone needs fucking help its me!"
After Mr. Hyatt's outburst, he stormed out of the house,out of that conversation, out of trying to help his daughter, he stormed outside to enter another world. It was now his turn to be delusional, his turn to bring Granthony back to life. He entered his own world. He never spoke about Granthony ever again and went his whole life acting like Maura was perfectly fine. Maura had the burden of knowing that she had caused her father's behavior and her mother never let her forget it.Mr. Hyatt was becoming even more delusional than Maura and his marriage was going down the rocks with this.
Maura's mother was now the only one living on earth but with her husband and daughter living in a fantasy she was living on earth with anger and hate. She used to be a trophy wife and a very sweet lady, the adult that you always wished was your mom, but all those were gone now and what they left behind was a cry for help.You could say she was about to enter her own world, a world of anger but a world still closer to earth than that of her husband or daughter. The world of anger seems to be the worst though. Anger is not delusion , its not pretense or ignorance. Its not imaginary, its action and its very real and alive. Its unreasonable and violent action and it clashes with the 'real ' world one time too many. It can cause you to lose your job, it can cause you to divorce the love of your life, it can cause you to kill your five year old daughter, it can cause you to do things....
Maura's mother moved quickly from anger to hate, very vivid hate.She began to hate everyone and lash out against everything. And when there was nothing else to hate she started to hate herself and this is where our very sad tale begins.
It was one of the most eerie things in the world that a five year old didn't believe in death. It was also the common denominator for both of us. I remember it was after her Grandpa Anthony's funeral. She became inconsolable. No one was as close to Grandpa Anthony like little Maura.
Then one day she came back from school one day , smiling. This was stunning because she hadn't smiled for days but that afternoon she was smiling. The kind of smile one has when something has been revealed to them, it looked awkward in a cute way when it was on a five year old girl.
"Granthony isn't death, no one can death"
That was the beginning of it and the end of something. After that at every funeral, every memorial service that Maura went to she didn't cry, she didn't feel bad or sorrowful, not at all. After that revelation that "no one can 'death' ", Maura seemed impervious to death and its effects.
Little Maura would go on with her life acting like Granthony was still alive. At the age when her friends were dropping their imaginary friends Maura was creating hers. There were two problems with this,the first one was quite obvious, her friends were leaving her behind. The other problem was that Maura's imaginary friend wasn't imaginary at all, it was a real person, a dead person.She would keep Granthony alive , she would listen to him read her bedtime stories, she would play Frisbee with him, she would fall asleep on his laps. As she grew older some of these activities were harder to pretend but she kept at it .
As expected, Her parents started to become concerned. Maura had entered a state of denial and everyday she was becoming even more delusional as the days started to roll by.She had successfully created a world where Granthony wasn't dead and where he and she coexisted forever.A world of death where death was impossible. A world that would soon collide with ours.
"She'll get over it'
"No she won't, not unless she gets help!, How could you take this so lightly !I don't know about you but i am not going to sit back and watch my five year old daughter grow into a fifty year old delusional woman!"
With that Mrs. Hyatt stormed back downstairs to the dining table. I had come over to the Hyatts to sleep over with Maura like always do at the end of every month. When Mr. Hyatt came down the food lost any taste it had. When Mr. Hyatt broke the silence with "OK then what will you have me do" he said with a huge feel of being fed up in his voice.
"Tell her for the hundredth time that Granthony is dead? tell her for the hundredth time that hes not coming back?, tell her for the hundredth time how he died?, take her to the graveyard to see him? Do you have any idea how painful uttering those words and doing those things are for me?I don't think you do! Granthony was my father! If anyone needs fucking help its me!"
After Mr. Hyatt's outburst, he stormed out of the house,out of that conversation, out of trying to help his daughter, he stormed outside to enter another world. It was now his turn to be delusional, his turn to bring Granthony back to life. He entered his own world. He never spoke about Granthony ever again and went his whole life acting like Maura was perfectly fine. Maura had the burden of knowing that she had caused her father's behavior and her mother never let her forget it.Mr. Hyatt was becoming even more delusional than Maura and his marriage was going down the rocks with this.
Maura's mother was now the only one living on earth but with her husband and daughter living in a fantasy she was living on earth with anger and hate. She used to be a trophy wife and a very sweet lady, the adult that you always wished was your mom, but all those were gone now and what they left behind was a cry for help.You could say she was about to enter her own world, a world of anger but a world still closer to earth than that of her husband or daughter. The world of anger seems to be the worst though. Anger is not delusion , its not pretense or ignorance. Its not imaginary, its action and its very real and alive. Its unreasonable and violent action and it clashes with the 'real ' world one time too many. It can cause you to lose your job, it can cause you to divorce the love of your life, it can cause you to kill your five year old daughter, it can cause you to do things....
Maura's mother moved quickly from anger to hate, very vivid hate.She began to hate everyone and lash out against everything. And when there was nothing else to hate she started to hate herself and this is where our very sad tale begins.
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